When you first meet that person you're so strongly attracted to, you could never imagine that somewhere down the line you two would ever have problems with intimacy.

Yet it happens to many people. There are reasons there are sitcom jokes about young parents being too exhausted for sex. They often really are!

Think about the many issues that keep people from having the active sex life they want. Look at all the things that get in the way:

And that's far from an exhaustive list. Other issues that intrude may be more internal and complex. People may not know themselves why they've lost their interest in sex. The reasons are often not immediately apparent and sometimes difficult for people to comprehend.

If you and/or your partner want to understand where things have gone wrong, you can explore that through counseling. People are sometimes very surprised to realize how much impact something they thought they had gotten past may still bother them and continue to hurt the relationship. These issues need to be resolved.

There definitely are ways to rekindle desire – and a respectful, loving relationship – if that is what you both want. It is work, but it can be done.


"Neglect is one of the most common reasons couples struggle to maintain intimacy. . . . Partners may divert essential time and energy away from the relationship and become excessively engaged in their work, hobbies, children or even other relationships."

-- S.T. FIFE and G.R. WEEKS

"By restoring the emotional closeness and intimacy, many couples will notice an improvement in their sex life. Emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy are usually interwoven."