What happened? Wasn't there a time when it felt pretty great just to be close to your partner? That person came first – not money, not work, not other people. You declared your love and thought it would last forever. And then, over time, the real world intruded. There were so many responsibilities you had to attend to. There was so little time left for each other . . . .

So it has come to this: The relationship is faltering. You may not even be totally sure what is wrong. And you probably don't know how to fix it.

"I love my partner, but . . . . " Fill in the rest of the sentence:

So how can two people who have grown apart, who have said things, who have hurt each other, find their way back?

If both partners truly want to try and are willing to work hard and learn new ways of interacting, it can happen. Wouldn't it be great to have someone who deeply understands you, who wants to be an emotionally safe person for you, who wants to learn to love you the way you would like to be loved? Wouldn't it be nice for you, also, to be that person for the one you love? With some guidance, you and your partner absolutely have a chance to make it happen. It is a choice.

And if your partner does not want to come to counseling and you do – then do it. I can work with you on relationship issues even if the other is not present. When you learn better and healthier ways to interact with your partner, the same old dysfunctional dance does not work anymore. The dynamic has changed.

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, in spite of ourselves."

-- VICTOR HUGO

"Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain."

-- SCOTT PECK